State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
