yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
