dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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