..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
