That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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