Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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