So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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