I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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