let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
