There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
