Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
