What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
