just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
