I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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