hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
