bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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