i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
