the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Randomize
