i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
