he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
