porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Send help, water and tortillas.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
