who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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