the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
