And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
