You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
