All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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