Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize