the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
