im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
