Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
