I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
