The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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