you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I had to cum in my sink.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
