whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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