Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(805): View more from California

She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.

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(541): View more from Oregon

Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]

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(330): View more from Ohio

if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...

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(310): View more from California

as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'

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(314): View more from Missouri

I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.

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(760): View more from California

dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself

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(760): View more from California

Dude what happened last night?

(732): View more from New Jersey

I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.

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