The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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