Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My dad is sitting where you rode me
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
