I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
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