Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize