is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
