if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
