Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
He told me they were just razor bumps!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
