Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We have so much sex to catch up on
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Is Oprah even human
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
