Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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