I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
