i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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