I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize