Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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