Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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