...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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