she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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