Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize