Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
