Have you finally orgasmed yet?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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