just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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