So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
