I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's shark week go big or go home
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
