I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
