i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I've blown a few things in my day
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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