I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
